Entry One

Yes sirr-ee, folks, it’s Thursday. Thursday, March 27, in the great year 2008. The sun has set and we’re ready to go. Everybody comfortable in those bleachers up there? Nosebleed? Okay. We’ve got our klieg lights? Ah, there we go. Now we’re lit.
First we have Barack Obama folks, in Ring One, let’s have a hand.
As you see, Obama is balancing corporate influence and Constitutional intentions in one hand – doing well, Obama! – and racial bias with youth in the other. By his side there, Michelle, on the SuperDuper plank-and-ball, reading her GoIntoDetailWithYour
One-Liners primer as their little ones skip their red-white-and-blue ropes.
Ring Two, everybody, John McCain. A nice hand for John McCain.
And we see John consulting there with Defense Secretary Gates. That’s a nice stick-and-plate he’s balancing on the side, huh? Shushing the rank-and-file so he can think. Yep, let’s see, what does his sign say? Okay folks, there it is: We Won’t Succeed Without War. Okay, and Gates...Gates is raising a finger now and then, in the direction of John’s jaw. And Cindy, guiding their children onto that cute little makeshift college, everybody, in Arizona, far away from the Mexican border as they can get.
Ring Three, everyone, a big hand for Hillary and Bill Clinton.
Bill is looking a little lean, huh? And here’s Hillary, doing her famous acrobatics – is that Chelsea? Yes! It’s Chelsea, bravely upon Hillary’s shoulders -- nice big smile, Chelsea! And Bill, with his saxophone in the wings, juggling his thinking cap, his cash box and his...what IS that, folks? Oh, his Is/Is instruction manual.
You’ll see, folks, tonight, our parading elephants circling the rings. Under our SPCA contract, donkeys are restricted. So who do we have aboard? There’s Al Gore, proudly holding his Earth flag. Give a big wave, Al! And there’s Mike Huckabee, thumping his Bible. Hi, Mike! Rudy Guiliani, in his 9/11 sportscoat – welcome, Rudy! Here’s Mike Bloomberg, riding double with his lead accountant, let’s have a hand for Mike.
Now, following our elephant parade, we see in our trademark coveralls, Ann Coulter, Camille Paglia, Ariana Huffington, Maureen Dowd and Baye Buchanan with their shovels.
And what’s this? A suprise, folks! Look who’s arrived! Clowns, hold up your hands as I call your names! James Carville! There he is, in the orange ClaraBelle hair. Bill O’Reilly? There we go folks, there’s Bill. Lou Dobbs? There, in the green shoes. Keith Olbermann? There’s Keith, in yellow.
You notice in the background we have the Billington High School band, tonight, folks, playing our beloved John Philip Sousa.
There’s cotton candy, caramel apples, roasted peanuts, and DecisionSoda in our concession, people. Enjoy the show!